Learn the Moab Daily in One Easy Lesson

It has come to my attention that many folks, visitors and residents alike, want to raft / kayak / stand up paddle/ couch surf the Colorado River near Moab but face the awkward situation of not having three hands. The result of this unfortunate truth is that for those who don’t know the river like the back of their hand (ha), fumbling with a map while managing all this equipment just doesn’t pan out. So, how does one remember the names of the rapids and which one comes next?

Fear not! A river guide at Wild West Voyages recently told me an acronym they created for trainees and renters to use until the river becomes ingrained in their hearts and brains. Here it is, revealed to the public for the first time:

Old People Need Red Wigs Sometimes. (I mean, don’t they)? These words serve to remind us of the order of fun: Onion Creek, Professor, New, Rocky, Whites…and (sometimes, at lower water) Salt Wash.